Prevention of bullying and antisocial behaviour

Bullying is a systematic aggressive behaviour against a person who finds it difficult to defend him/herself. It is often a repeated and intentional act, with the purpose of hurting someone. Here you can find recommendations about what to do when your child is being bullied or if find out that your child is a bully.

When you notice signs that would indicate to bullying:

  1. Stay calm. Think how you will address the topic. Overreacting and underreacting are both dangerous.
  2. Talk to your child. Reflect on what you have noticed. Tell the child that you are worried and you want to help and support them.
  3. Listen to your child. Do not minimise your child’s worry or offer random solutions.
  4. Understand his/her fear. Only the child can assess how safe school is for him/her.
  5. Keep in mind that school cannot be responsible for everything and teachers might not notice or know everything.
  6. Discuss different ways of how to stop bullying.
  7. As a parent you cannot insist your child be popular in class but you can expect him/her to be treated with respect.
  8. You have a right, or even a duty, to inform the school so that you can find the solution all together.
  9. Bullying is not a normal part of a child’s development and should not be tolerated at all.

What can I do if my child is a bully:

  1. Stay calm. Think how you will address the topic. Overreacting and underreacting are both dangerous.
  2. Talk to your child and listen to him/her. Try to understand how he/she feels and understands the situation.
  3. Give the child a clear message – bullying needs to stop. Limits can be delivered in the form of criticism and shaming, or they can be communicated in a firm but respectful way. You disapprove of the action, but not your child.
  4. Discuss the ways of how to stop bullying and solve the situation. Let the child offer his/her own solutions.
  5. Contact the school and talk about your observations. Ask for their recommendations.
  6. Take time to think:
    • does your child have enough possibilities to satisfy his/her need for achievement and recognition?
    • does he/she have enough attention?
    • how is his/her self-esteem? Help him/her find his/her strengths. Notice when doing something positive.
  7. Think about you as a role model – how you communicate and solve problems. Understand that actions speak louder than words.

Remember that a bullying child is not a bad child and you are not a bad parent. A bully needs help in order to understand the influence of his/her behaviour.

Parents are reminded not to deal directly with bullying issues at school, but contact the class teacher or school psychologist should they have a concern. Tallinn European School is doing everything it can to solve these cases professionally and delicately.